Disaster!

I set out to run 20 miles this morning.  I've been feeling pretty good so far this year with a 16 and 18 miler under my belt.  We headed out on the Los Gatos trail shortly before 8am, beginning with a short out and back towards the reservoir. The morning was cool but sunny.  I ran with my awesome running buddy for the season, (let's call her B), and we started right into the wedding planning stories.  15 minutes into the run, a fellow runner several steps in front of us turned around, said "I can't help but hear that you're talking about planning weddings. I'm a wedding planner!" and it felt like I was set for the next few hours. 

We completed the first 3.75 mile out and back and started off in the other direction towards Campbell for the second out and back.  It's a trail I have run many times in the last year with both good and bad memories and I'll be honest that I was a little nervous about whether it would be stimulating enough to get me through the tough run I knew I was about to embark upon.  Our 16 miler was in Santa Cruz along the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean and the 18 miler was in Monterey through the famous 17 mile drive, one of the most beautiful spots in the country. Los Gatos trail is pretty but familiar and there's no Pacific Ocean to gaze at and forget the pain.

It was going well though and I saw the 1 hour mark, 90 minute mark and 2 hour mark pass by on my watch. About this point I came across the last water stop and one of the volunteers (an utterly amazing TNT Honoree who just qualified for Boston last weekend) offered us Peach Sorbet.  We ran to the end of the trail and started back towards the finish.  I was definitely feeling tired at this point and struggling a little.  I was starting to get a blister under my left foot and there were some pangs in my knee.  I hadn't felt like this all season. 

One mile later disaster struck.  I took a walk break to eat some GU and when I started to run again a stabbing knife sharp pain fired through my left knee.  It took my breath away with surprise and just how strong it was.  I presumed that it was my legs seizing up a little as I walked.  Sometimes, late in long runs, my muscles tighten up the instant I stop running so getting started again takes a bit of fight.  I have to push hard through the clenching muscles to get them to loosen up again.  I tried that, clenching my fists, holding my breath and just pushing but the pain seared through my knee again, pulling me up short.  What was this?  Where did it come from? 

B came running up asking if I was OK and I said that I just needed to walk a little longer to warm up the knee.  I tried a fast walk to get the heart pumping and after a little while attempted a slow jog again, only to stop in frustration and pain.  The realization gradually dawned that I wouldn't be able to complete the long run today.  B wanted to walk with me to the next water stop but I knew it was nearly 2 miles away and I didn't want to ruin her run too, so I pleaded with her to continue without me.  Eventually she agreed to run on and tell the crew at the water stop about my condition so they could return and help me.

I walked the next 2 miles slowly in pain and frustration.  I cried when I realized my race is only 3 weeks away and this stupid knee might prevent me from running it.  I thought about how I've heard more than one story about friends getting injured shortly before a race and how angry and disappointed those friends were.  I couldn't believe that was me.  Just before I reached the next water stop a TNT volunteer arrived to help me.  She brought me to a nearby parking lot and another of the TNT captains arrived to drive me back to the start.

I am so grateful for the fact that I had the support of the Team to help me through this. I really can't say enough good things about the support crew. Despite my sniffles, the coaches received me arriving back to base in a car with hugs and sympathy (causing a few more sniffles themselves). Honoree Todd offered an ice pack right away and a story of when the same thing happened to him right before his Napa Marathon 2 years ago.  He ran it successfully.  He also gave me some tape and instructions for how to tape up my knee for support.  Coach Tim described his knee support and explained how it helps the Patella to track correctly and Coach Kris offered to make me an appointment this week at her Sports Medicine clinic.  Everyone offered so much support that I really felt better by the time I hobbled towards my car.  There's a chance this won't stop me from running the Marathon.  A chance.

I usually view people who try to run through injury with disdain.  Why would you ignore the advice of a professional?  Why would think you can just ignore a problem.  If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times; If you catch an injury early, it's much easier to treat.  If you ignore it you risk inflaming it and making it much worse, meaning it will take much longer to heal and you'll have to stop running for much longer. It makes perfect sense.  Well, today I finally understood those people.  I wanted to ignore the pain in my knee so badly.  While walking on that path I tried to run several times despite the pain.  While riding in the car back to the start I wished I hadn't given up.  While talking to the coaches about the injury I wished I was still on the trail pushing it through it and wasn't the injured girl who returned in the car.  Sitting here writing this I wish I was writing about the 20 miles that I ran and not this disappointing story. 

I've already overdosed on several online articles and a couple of chapters from running books I own about running injuries.  I know that attitude is a huge part of recovery; that I need to cross train to keep up the fitness; that I should treat with Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation; that I should stretch and foam roll the muscles; that I need to stay positive and not let it get me down.  But maybe I'll try all that tomorrow because today I'm just disappointed and sad and frustrated and angry.